The shift can be seen in the post-genocide constitution. Although this document, which was adopted in 2003, has been criticized for possibly enabling one-party rule (a point brought up by an audience member), it not only condemned the genocide but also mandated that any government organization, including parliament, had to be made up of at least 30 percent women. However, progress toward equality did not end there.

“Women voted for women,” said moderator Ambassador Swanee Hunt, founder of the Women and Public Policy Program and Eleanor Roosevelt Lecturer in Public Policy at the Kennedy School. She cited “a massive push from the bottom” with as many as 15,000 village councils made up of women. She also noted how the women in parliament made room for others: Although 30 percent of seats are specifically set aside for women, she explained, “a significant number of those 30 percent said, ‘I have great name recognition — I’m going to give up my seat for one of my sisters who is not as accomplished and run against the man.’” The result is a parliament that is now 64 percent female, resulting in major changes in gender-based violence protections and inheritance laws, which had previously excluded women.

The progress does not mean the loss is forgotten, however, and each panelist shared how difficult it can be to move forward.

Boggis, who came to the U.S. at 17, initially sought to leave the tragedy behind for college and a new life. “It was not until the Save Darfur movement was getting started that I realized I had to speak up,” she recalled, citing campus activism during her undergraduate years at the University of New Hampshire, where she is currently a senior director of admissions at the law school. “Because if I didn’t, who else would?”

Umugwaneza described how her mother would repeatedly return to the site of her ruined home, a return her only surviving child did not understand until her mother finally located two orphaned relatives — one, a boy of 9 living on the street. “I was her only child, but she didn’t rest until she found something she could hold onto from her family,” said Umugwaneza. “She kept reminding me that I was responsible for them. I think she had found something to live for.”

That pain is being passed on. Now living in the U.S., Nkurunziza has a 5-year-old daughter whose school regularly hosts a grandparents’ breakfast. But neither Nkurunziza nor her husband have living parents, because of the genocide, so her daughter has no one to take. “She’s 5, there was no way I can make her understand,” said Nkurunziza. “After 25 years,” she explained, the tragedy “is transitioning to another generation.”

“I’ve realized how much the world needs to know what happened in Rwanda,” said Umunyana. “We are fragile, but it doesn’t make us weak.”